Tuesday, 23 August 2011

[Lovers India] njoy...


NJOY...............





 

 

 
 
 


Putting a few mails together for some serious laughter

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
 
A nurse noticed his predicament.
 
Sir, she said ' You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.'
 
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
 
Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA, PP, and a red one labeled APR.
 
Who would know if he touched them?
 
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
 
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
 
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
 
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
 
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the APR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
 
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
 
'What happened?' he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the APR button.
 
'The button APR is an Automatic Pad Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.'

 



No Speak English 


An Italian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.   
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to  put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and  lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.   
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her  breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts. 
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

(Please scroll  down.) 














What were you  
 
Thinking? 

Her husband speaks English!
 
Now get back to your emails. 

I worry about you  
 
Sometimes! 



The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, "Yes? "

"Mrs. Ward, please."

Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks.

"Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease (related to memory) and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is"

"That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" questions Mrs. Ward.

"Normally, Yes. But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."






TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL


THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'


THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,

'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'


'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'


'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'

'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'


'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE
HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'




Prasanna


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