Lovers India

Saturday, 18 May 2013

[Lovers India] An old's gold joke!

An old one, but a gold one!

 
      A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?"Rajesh Kannoly
        
The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves.Rajesh Kannoly
        
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?"Rajesh Kannoly
        
Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "about 2 hours." The guy leaves.Rajesh Kannoly
      
  A week later the same guy sticks his head   in the shop and asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes."Rajesh Kannoly
        
In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, "this must be good, where did he go when he left here?"

Joey says, "To your house!"Rajesh Kannoly

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it."

Rajesh kannoly

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[Lovers India] Be professional

Re: [Lovers India] I Like Your Thinking (Spicy Joke).

Hey i need a gf plz be my frnd in fb my id is "rohandesle@yahoo.com''
On May 18, 2013 6:36 PM, "Rajesh.Kannoly" <rkannoly@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
> "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."Rajesh Kannoly
>
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking.
> " Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"Rajesh Kannoly
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."Rajesh Rajesh KannolyKannoly
>
> "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."Rajesh Kannoly
>
>
> "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it."
>
> Rajesh kannoly
> Find me on
>
>
>
>
>
>
> If you forward this email, please delete the forward history, including my email address. Remember, erasing the history helps to prevent SPAMMERS from mining addresses and viruses from being propagated. Also enter the addresses on the "Bcc" line to hide them from others.
>
> --
> --
> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google
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> To post to this group, send email to loversindia@googlegroups.com
> To unsubscribe from this group, send email to
> loversindia+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
> http://groups.google.co.in/group/loversindia
>
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[Lovers India] I Like Your Thinking (Spicy Joke).

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."Rajesh Kannoly

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking.
" Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"Rajesh Kannoly

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."Rajesh Rajesh KannolyKannoly

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."Rajesh Kannoly

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it."

Rajesh kannoly

Find me on

[Lovers India] Fwd: A Quick Reaction Test

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AIR Force Test

This will drive you nuts!! Have fun! Rajesh kannoly

The object of the game is to move the red block around,
without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. Rajesh kannoly

If you can do it longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.
It has been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots.Rajesh kannoly

They are expected to do it for at least 2 minutes.
Give it a try but be careful...
it is addictive (or forward it to someone you want to frustrate)!!Rajesh kannoly

Please click below :

Air Force Test

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it."

Rajesh kannoly

Find me on

Friday, 17 May 2013

[Lovers India] Gm

Jago Jago Subah Hogayi,
Jaldi Se Lelo Chai Thundi Hogayi

;; ;;

C(""') C(""')

Good Morning. Aaj Ki Chai Meri Taraf Se

Have A Nice Day

Good Morning.

[Lovers India] Urgent Client Position ::::: Oracle Analyst with OPTIM ::::: Bothell, WA

Hi,

This is Sandeep, - Recruitment and Resources from USM Business Systems INC.
We have an urgent requirement as follows:
Please respond with resumes in MS-Word Format with the following details to sandeepp@usmsystems.com

Full Name:
Contact Number:
Email:

Location:

Relocation:

SSN Number(Last four digits):
Availability:

Flexible time for Interview:

Visa Status:

Rate:

Job Title: Oracle Analyst

Location : Bothell, WA 98011

Duration : 3+ months (may extend)

Project Description:

Data Analyst with Production Operation / Archive experience

Job Description:

• Interact with business/end users to gather & analyze customer requirements

• Analyze source Data before archiving

• Develop scripts to interface with external systems/databases

• Develop scripts to monitor Systems/Applications/Databases

• Develop PL/SQL Scripts

• Develop SQL scripts for data analysis

• Generate Reports using UNIX/PL/SQL scripts

-----------------

Job# 18299

Skills Inventory

1) UNIX Shell Scripting Expert Required

2) UNIX Command Expert Required

3) SQL Server Database Analyst Intermediate Required

4) Sybase Database Analyst Intermediate Required

5) DB2/UDB/IMS Database Analyst Intermediate Required

6) OPTIM Intermediate Desired

7) Attunity Intermediate Desired

8) Oracle Apex Intermediate Desired

9) Business Objects Intermediate Desired

10) Oracle Database Analyst Expert Required

------------------------------------------------------------

Job# 18302

Skills Inventory

1) Oracle DB Expert Required

2) Oracle PL/SQL Expert Required

3) UNIX General Expert Required

4) UNIX Shell Scripting Expert Required

5) OPTIM Intermediate Required

6) Data Analysis Expert Required

7) Communication Skill Intermediate Required

8) Requirements Analysis Intermediate Required

9) Web Technologies Intermediate Desired

10) PHP Intermediate Desired

Highlighted skills are must

Thanks & Regards

Sandeep Reddy | Lead Recruiter |

A CMMI Level 3 Company

Driving the Business Trend

14175 Sullyfield Circle, Suite # 400,Chantilly, VA 20151, U.S.A

Email: sandeepp@usmsystems.com, Phone: 703-880-2493

Skype: sandeep_usm

ISO 9001 and ISO 20000 Certified Company

Ranked No. 7 in the Washington DC area-Washington Business Journal, 2013

Smart CEO Award Winner By SMART CEO Magazine, Baltimore, U.S.A; Inc5000 Recognized Fastest growing private company in U.S.A. www.usmsystems.com,